The View in a Broom Cupboard
by persephuzzled
Summary: WIKTT 2 to 6 Challenge. Oh, the things that you can discover in Hogwarts at 2 o' clock in the morning...Professor Trelawney and Fred Weasley?


A.N.: Since I was lacking for ideas, I decided to take advantage of WIKTT. The challenge rules are at the bottom. Hope you enjoy this. Also, if anyone has suggestions for me as to what they would like to see next, drop a review!

Pairings: SS/HG. WIKTT 2 to 6 Challenge

A scream rent the silent night air, startling the young lady in the Head Girl's room awake. Eyes rapidly scanning the room, she searched for the source of the banshee howl. Seeing nothing moving within the room, she gently nudged her companion. Screams in the night were not unusual at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry—what with the large population of ghosts and other fantastical beings, but something about this one made her tremble with fear. The one sharing her bed was still sound asleep. He made a sound very much like a sigh and shifted position, but other than that showed no signs of stirring.

"Wake up!" Hermione Granger said, poking more firmly.

He simply let out a more content sigh and extended his arm to pull her close to him, effectively burying her protests in his chest. Although she could not deny that her current position was extremely inviting, she _had _to do something about that scream. She was Head Girl, after all.

"Severus!"

"Mmmmm….."

Honestly, how he became a spy when he slept so deeply, she didn't know.

"SEVERUS!" she cried, poking him even more firmly in his gut.

"Hermione, my dear, it must be about 2 o'clock in the morning. I am exceedingly comfortable with a bundle of warm, beautiful, raspberry-scented woman in my arms. Exactly why are you trying to disturb this state of mine?" Severus said without even opening his eyes. It really was quite annoying how he could be so articulate even when half asleep. It was just one of the things she loved about him.

"Severus, even a deep sleeper like you could not have missed that scream. It was worse than Trelawney's the time she Saw a happy future for Harry."

"Mmm…I remember that. That scream was even worse that Draco's when that his potion misfired to turn him into a girl. Though I did not realise that the dunderheads I attempt to prevent from exploding my dungeons had the knowledge that powdered ashwinder eggs added at that exact moment into a Polyjuice Potion would cause that effect." At this, he opened one eye to stare balefully at Hermione. The entire effect, however, was ruined by the fact that his sleep-tousled hair was all over his bare shoulders and that he was only clothed in a pair of black silk boxers.

Hermione giggled. "You have to admit, it was a brilliant plan. Even you were smirking at him through the entire lesson. AND you didn't give him the antidote; you just let it wear off."

Severus's lips curved into his trademark smirk. "Why, my love, it just so happened that I was out of the key ingredient for that antidote…I really had no other option."

Their reminiscing session was interrupted by yet another blood-curdling scream, which jolted Hermione back to the present.

"Severus, that scream was even more horrible!"

"And what, precisely, do you want me to do about it? It was probably just some unimportant incident like a Weasley stumbling upon Filch and Trelawney together in a closet. As disturbing as that is, it does not really warrant me removing myself from this delightful state with you."

"Severus…."

"Oh, alright. But it had better be serious, or I will give you detention."

After extricating himself from Hermione and the bed, Severus swept out the door, pulling on his billowing black cloak as he did so to cover the fact that he was only wearing a pair of black silk boxers. Once he was out of sight, Hermione hurriedly pulled on her student robes, the Head Girl badge affixed to the front. Once she was sure that Severus was far enough away so as not to arouse suspicion that they had exited from the same room, she followed. Using one of Hogwarts's innumerable secret passages, she managed to exit it right as Severus was stalking up the hallway.

"Miss Granger, why are you wandering the corridors at 2 o'clock in the morning? You do realise that curfew was ages ago. One would have hoped that a know-it-all such as yourself could at least tell time," he snarked at her.

"_Professor_, I am up for the exact same reason that you are. I heard a chilling scream and decided that it was my duty to investigate."

"You presume far too much of yourself, Miss Granger. 30 points from Gryffindor for being out past curfew. Now, since I have no trust in you to go back to your room, you shall follow me until I find the cause of this disturbance."

Hermione's glare as she trailed behind the Potions Master was not feigned as they headed in the direction of the scream. The race for the House Cup was extremely close that year, and that point deduction had just dropped them into second place.

As Hermione was sulking, Severus was starting to hear some panicked footsteps headed their way. As he turned the corner, he collided with a red blur, resulting in the blur crashing to the ground. The cessation of movement allowed Severus to see that it was none other than Fred Weasley (at least, he _thought_ it was Fred).

"Weasley!"

Fred gulped as he looked up at the Potions Master, who had swept himself to his full height and was glaring mercilessly at him. Hogwarts graduate or no, Fred was still utterly intimidated.

"Are you the cause of that infernal noise?" Snape demanded. Fred nodded mutely, partially too afraid to speak to Snape, partially because he was still in shock from what he had seen.

"What are you even doing in Hogwarts, Fred?" asked Hermione curiously. With their booming business, she could not come up with a reason why either of the Weasley twins should be in Hogwarts the day before Christmas break, one of their peak seasons.

"Explain yourself NOW, Mr. Weasley. Graduate of Hogwarts or no, I can still make you regret this."

"Weeellll……" Fred dragged, searching desperately for a way to escape.

"Weasley! Within this century, if you please!"

"Oh, all right. Don't get your boxers in a twist, Professor. George and I decided to leave Hogwarts a little Christmas present. Brand-new product, a little modification of our Portable Swamp…anyway, so as I was setting it up in various prime locations…I came, well, came across…." A completely scared, yet disgusted look spread across Fred's face, rendering him unable to continue.

"What did you come across, Mr. Weasley?"

Fred's mouth opened and closed several time, but he was still unable to produce any sort of articulate sound. Hermione's (and Severus's, though he would never admit it) curiosity was well and truly piqued now. What could have made Fred Weasley, who lived with six outrageous siblings and was half of Hogwarts's best troublemaking duo, speechless?

"If you would kindly stop imitating a goldfish, Mr. Weasley? Some of us would like to be in bed, not crashing into ex-students or catching snogging students in corners."

The mention of snogging students made Fred start so violently that even a blind Oompa-Loompa would have been able to notice. Identical thoughts were racing through Severus's and Hermione's minds. Which couple could have been so repulsive for Fred to scream not once, but twice?

"Out with it, Weasley. Which House should I docking points from?"

"Umm…actually, I don't know."

"Have the lower-level students started snogging so early that you don't know which house they belong to? After all, you only left a couple of years ago," commented Hermione. As usual, she had brought up a valuable point. Severus turned and looked inquiringly at Fred, prompting him to respond to her query.

"No, we haven't corrupted them that much yet," grinned Fred cheekily, momentarily forgetting his horror.

"And if I ever find out that you have, Weasley, I will force-feed you one of your own Canary Creams and then a Puking Pastille. And I won't be kind enough to give you the other half."

Fred winced slightly. "Duly noted, Professor."

Severus was getting more than mildly annoyed. Warm though his robes were, they were not sufficient to insulate him from the draft in the fairly unused corridor. "Now that we have sufficiently threatened each other, Weasley, tell me: which persons in this school can cause you this much disgust with a relationship, _and _manage to conceal their House identity from you?"

Mumbling very quickly, Fred finally spilled it. "TrelawneyandFilch."

There was a silence.

"Weasley, I do not believe that I heard you correctly. Did you say… Trelawney and... and _Filch_?" If Severus had been a more expressive man, his eyes would have popped out of their sockets and rolled around the floor, reminiscent of Mad-Eye Moody's, well, mad eye. As it was, this was the most expression other than anger that anyone other than Hermione had ever witnessed upon his face.

Fred could only nod dumbly, staring off into space.

Severus and Hermione looked at each other. Then they looked at Fred. Then they looked at each other again, both recalling what Severus had said earlier that night.

"_It was probably just some unimportant incident like a Weasley stumbling upon Filch and Trelawney together in a closet."_

On cue, both burst out into great guffaws of laughter, prompting Fred to let out his third scream of the night.

"Merlin, Weasley, what are you making such a racket about now?" Severus managed to spit out amid his laughs. "It's not as though you have found Miss Granger and me snogging in a broom cupboard."

"No, though I wouldn't be surprised if I did. How can you manage to _laugh_ at that image? Do you know what it did to me!" Fred protested, scandalised.

"It's nothing, Fred, just something someone said earlier…wait a sec." Hermione's brain had finally processed what Fred's first statement was. "Did you say that you _wouldn't _be surprised to find us in a broom closet?"

Hermione was in complete shock, though she hoped her countenance only displayed indignance. Severus, too, had composed himself and was back in full professor persona, staring down his large nose at Fred. "Mr. Weasley, you had better not be casting aspersions on either of us, or I will stuff you in the Vanishing Cabinet and use it for firewood once the door is shut."

"I have no doubt that you would, sir, but I am not casting aspersions. Merely stating a fact." Fred replied cheerfully, having regained his normal disposition with this turn of events. At the silence that followed, he continued. "Well, if I wasn't sure before, I certainly am now. Your silence speaks volumes."

"What, exactly, are you planning to do with this information, Mr. Weasley?" Snape's smooth voice betrayed none of the anxiety that he felt. Hermione uneasily awaited the answer. Severus could be fired for this.

"Don't worry, Professor, I'm not going to get you fired. I wouldn't want to deprive the future students of Hogwarts of your sunny disposition and fatherly presence," Fred cracked. "Oh, Professor, pretend to be deaf for a couple of minutes, will you?" Turning his attention to Hermione, he said "Clearly, you've made a choice here. Are you happy with it?" Hermione nodded silently. She meant that with all her heart, and hoped that Severus knew it. Knowing him, he was beating himself up on the inside for encouraging this.

"Well, it'll certainly be fun to see ickle Ronniekins' face when he finds out, won't it?" Fred chirped brightly. Seeing Hermione's expression, he added, "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell him. Strange as it may seem, I can see how you two got together. You have my support and silence on this. And don't worry about George, he hasn't spotted anything yet."

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Fred," she said gratefully, going over to give him a hug. As she pulled back, he whispered in her ear mischievously, "Any problems with him and owl me, I'll make him our new test subject."

"I, too, shall return that favour if I hear of Hermione being harassed, Mr. Weasley," stated Snape silkily as he moved to encircle Hermione's shoulders with his arm. Fred nodded slightly in approval both of Snape's actions and his words. "I believe it is time for you to be back home, now, Mr. Weasley."

"Goodnight, Professor. All my love, Hermione." After wishing them, Fred turned to exit Hogwarts through one of the numerous secret passages, while Hermione and Severus headed back to her room. Just before they rounded a corner out of sight of each other, Hermione stopped.

"Wait, Fred!"

"Yeah?"

"You screamed twice. What was the cause of the second one?"

This time, Fred's expression was even more disgusted and horrified than it was previously, if that was even possible. "Please, Hermione, don't make me repeat it. I want to pretend that it never happened. I am going to pretend that that broom closet never existed. _Please._"

"Can something really be that much worse than Trelawney and Filch?"

"Oh, trust me, it can."

"Mr. Weasley, out with it. I would like more blackmail information," added Severus, who was observing everything with interest.

"Umm…let's just say that Professor Dumbledore thinks his is the Loch Ness Monster, and he calls it," here he gulped, "He calls it Nessie."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Hogwarts was graced with its fourth scream of the night.

XxXxXxXxX

"I can't believe it. DUMBLEDORE? The man's not supposed to be human!" ranted Hermione as she paced rapidly around her room. Severus watched her from his position on the bed. Granted, she had excellent reason to be this agitated. Even a hardened spy such as himself couldn't conceal a shudder at the thought of the old coot doing…that… Severus flinched again. Some things should just never be articulated. However, he had to stop her from her rant. She could go on for hours if left alone. He knew that from experience (most unfortunately).

"Hermione, love, you can't keep ranting about it. It will simply serve to place that image foremost in your mind, and I do not believe that that is what you want to accomplish. Why don't you just come back to bed?"

"Severus, I really don't think I can sleep right now!"

"Why, whoever said that I was thinking of sleeping?" Severus arched a brow at her, a smirk upon his lips.

"I'm sorry, Severus. But with that image in my mind…any activities…" Hermione could not even finish her sentence, her disgust was so great.

"Oh, I'm sure I could…distract you," murmured Severus silkily, drawing her closer to him. Placing a kiss upon her lips, he proceeded to prove that indeed, he could be a very potent distraction. All thoughts of Dumbledore's…thing… soon exited Hermione's mind (although they were replaced with thoughts of Severus's…well, everything).

Some time later, the two lovers lay in each other's arms, completely satisfied. They were quiet for a few moments, listening to each other's heartbeats and simply drinking the other in.

"I love you, Hermione."

"I love you too, Severus."

And sleep overtook the two in bed.

XxXxXxXxX

Reviews are greatly appreciated.

The rules:

All stories must begin and end with the paragraphs below. Please also follow the same format (paragraph spacing, speaking quotations, etc).

All stories must feature Hermione Granger and Severus Snape in some manner.

Stories should be complete and should not exceed 2,000 words (about 6/7 pages) and must be SPELLCHECKED.

Stories must take place between the hours of 2:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.

Use only one of the following in the story:

Lucius Malfoy

Mrs. Norris

Fred Weasley

Voldemort

Neville Longbottom

(All other characters other than this list of five are fair game)

Mention at least one of these fanon creations/mainstays:

Dark Revel(s)

Contraceptive Charm

Snape or Hermione's personal scent

Ars Alchemica

Wizard's Weekly

Black Silk Boxers

And must end with:

Sleep overtook the two in the bed.


End file.
